Madrid 9/6/2008

Apparently, the machine eating robot from Paris migrated to Madrid sometime during the past week. This migration led to poor sleep and thus a poopy attitude on the part of John W. this morning. Naturally, my poopy attitude disappeared completely after an hour or so of SHOPPING with Kelly!!!!!

After like 4 and one third hours of awesome shopping we walked around Madrid and saw some things. We went to Plaza de Mayor and Plaza del Sol. We ate some lunch. Then, in the afternoon we went to Plaza de Las Ventas for a bullfight.

Here’s how it works:

1. First there’s some horns band that plays a short song and a whole parade of all the players involved that marches out. There’s these dudes dressed like old conquistadors and some armored horses and their helpers and of course the matadors. Turns out there are several matadors, five or so minor matadors and three featured matadors that are the ones that go one on one with the bull.

2. Everyone but the matadors leaves the ring and they release a bull into the ring. The matadors are spaced out around the edge of the ring next to a small opening that they can fit through but the bull cannot. They pop out of their openings one at a time and taunt the bull so that the bull runs back and forth across the ring several times and gets tired out.

3. Some horns sound and two guys on armored-horseback come out with long spears. The bull will eventually charge the horse from a close range (the horse has blinders on and does not see this coming). The horse is protected by soft armor so nothing but a blunt force hits it. While the bull is pushing into the horse, the rider stabs the bull on the back of its neck until it is distracted by matadors which have ventured farther from their doors by this point.

4. More horns are sounded and the horses leave. A few of the featured matadors come out and make the bull charge towards their ‘pink and yellow cape-thingies’ (a technical term). Meanwhile other matadors will run up to the bull while it is distracted and stab two barbed sticks into its upper back. This happens three times, and if all three attempts are successful, the bull will have 6 sticks dangling from its back.

5. The final stage is with one matador and his red cape and sword. He goes out to the ring and salutes the crowd and leaves his hat on the ground. The bull will charge at his cape and narrowly miss hitting the matador. The crowd gets into it if he is good, especially if he doesn’t move when the bull passes and keeps the cape in front of the bull. He holds the cape out by draping it over a thin sword that he carries with him. Finally, when the bull is just a few feet in front of him and has his head lowered to charge, the matador will stab the bull at the top of his neck.

If the matador is good, the bull will die immediately. If not, the bull will continue running around and the matador will use a hook to get the sword out of the bull’s neck and stab him again. The bull, once slain, will be dragged out of the ring by three donkeys and the blood will be shoveled and carried out as well. Steps 2-5 are repeated until each of the three featured matadors has killed two bulls (somewhere between 5-8 bulls; the calculator function is broken on this computer).

As you can tell, this is an extremely gruesome event. It was very unsettling and made me cringe the first few times. It was extremely bloody, and was very painful to watch if the matador was not good. By the end, I was almost numb to the killing and it did not affect me the way the first few bulls did. Overall, it was a very interesting experience. I don’t know if I would go again, but I would definitely recommend it if you have never seen it before.

After the bull fight we had a cheap dinner and went to a bar before going to bed.